David Bowie's Crotch

I was dared to write about David Bowie's Crotch, so here we go.

Oh! You need to know about me and dares. I? Cannot resist a dare. You challenge me to a dare? I accept blindly. It gets me in a lot of trouble, but come ON! It's a DARE! You're thrown down the gauntlet, you've slapped me with the white glove! I can't resist. Can't do it. SO. In the interest of said dare, and the idea that writing about David Bowie's Crotch will make my stats EXPLODE, here we go.

I would like to thank David Bowie's Crotch for welcoming me into womanhood.

It's true. If you've ever seen "Labyrinth" you know what I'm talking about, right? David Bowie's Crotch should be TOP BILLED in that movie. Don't believe me? WITNESS!

 

WHOA. What was THAT??? Where was I when my girlparts woke up??? Now before you start getting squicked, this did not happen the FIRST time I saw the movie when I was NINE. But a couple of years later? Holy hopping shit, dudes. I mean, LOOK!

Is that even LEGAL??? It can't be good for his...um...Little Davey, can it? Those are some TIGHT PANTS. This is a CHILDREN'S MOVIE, right?

 

So anyway, yes. This was the beginning of Miss Banshee's journey into womanhood. Mostly it was confusing and tingly, but so was my first - Oh shit...Hi mom! My first KISS! I meant my first KISS, you FILTHY children. This was also my first realization that I am a SUCKER for boys in eyeliner with glam hair, until I learned later that most of the boys who resemble David Bowie and His Crotch are into OTHER boys who look like David Bowie and have His Crotch.

Especially His Crotch.

So there you have it. Miss Banshee became a woman, and David Bowie's Crotch had done its job.

It's a simple story, but a beautiful one, yes?

 

Special thanks to these websites for all the great pictures!

Comments

[Meaghan]

You may or may not believe me but when I saw this in like 6th grade with all my friends, we forever referred to this fashion as "David Bowie pants"

[Angela]

OH MY GOD! Am I asexual? I swear, I saw this movie like 8 times with my kids and NEVER noticed "DAVID BOWIE'S CROTCH".

[Mama Dawg]

I am so with you on the David Bowie crotch shots. Like you, the first time I saw this I was 9 and it totally went over my head. However, after repeated viewings when I got older *ahem* it's all we giggled about. That and the way he sang. I had such a mad crush on him. Sigh.....

[Captain Awesome]

Strangely enough, Jennifer Connelly (sp?) was responsible for my own awakening at that time. Although her crotch was not so prominently featured. That was more Linda Carter as Wonder Woman.

[Karawynn]

I love this movie, but I have to wonder if they had "ahem" shifting problems like Superman did. Little trivia they had a 'cup' for Christopher Reeves cause things would move from side to side

[foradifferentkindofgirl (fadkog)]

There is so much goodness in this post I am nearly rendered speechless! In my mind, I look at that second photo and I put on a Bowie voice in my head and say, "Wha? Are you lookin' at my crotch now, yeah?"

And my answer is, of course, how could you not?!

[larissa]

This...

until I learned later that most of the boys who resemble David Bowie and His Crotch are into OTHER boys who look like David Bowie and have His Crotch

...is still a disappointing lesson.

[badgerbag]

All so true. Fortunately there are plenty of girls who resemble David Bowie and His Crotch. At least here in San Francisco.

[toriElena]

lol....gotta love 'frisco! Caught Shakespeares Romeo and Juliet at one of the theatre clubs up there years ago while visiting. Well, at least thats what I thought i was going to see...but once the play started there was no Juliet to be found...so, I watched the most educational and entertaining rendition of Shakespeares classic love story that I have ever seen.
I fondly remember it as "Romeo and Big Delbert"

lol

[Janick Goudeau]

Happy Birthday David Bowie! Amazing how one man can have soon many wonderful talents! 5-stars!! Janick~

[Miss Grace]

I feel the same way.

[Carl]

Hello from cyberspace!

It's always a hilarious diversion when you see David Bowie's super-magnified crotch in the Google Images thumbnail gallery, so here I am. Carry on!

[stephanie]

That was freakin awesome! You stole the words right out of my mouth. His crotch totally propelled me into womanhood. I still love him to this day! THANK YOU soooooo much for writing about David Bowie's awesome crotch, AND the pictures! HAHAHAHA